Thursday, January 13, 2011

The power of a kick

I remember the first time I felt Olivia's movement.  I was sitting on the couch last January watching the Hope For Haiti fundraising concert and felt the first flutter.  I was surprised and elated!  Over the coming weeks, those flutters gradually turned into discernible kicks and punches, some so strong that they made my belly move.  That movement gave me comfort knowing she was okay (or so we thought) and were a constant reminder that we would soon become parents.

That comfort turned into heartache the week leading up to our scheduled induction.  Those days were like torture, and it took every bit of strength I had to find a way to distract myself from thinking about the day we would lose her.  I remember lying in bed with hubby a few days before our appointment, and she was kicking wildly.  It was like someone was stabbing a knife into my heart.  All I wanted her to do was stop kicking, because it was like torture.

When we returned from the hospital, I felt empty.  My stomach had gone down in size considerably and I longed to feel her movement.  In the weeks that followed, I started feeling "phantom kicks", slight twitches in my belly that felt like Olivia's movement.  Every time it happened I would cry.  It kept reminding me of everything I was trying to move on from.

Now I'm 29 weeks pregnant and this baby is moving a lot!  Last night hubby and I were on the couch and he was able to watch and feel baby's movements, which at time are quite surprising. My stomach twitches and changes shape, to the point where sometimes it stops me in my tracks!  I feel movement all day long and it's a wonderful reminder that this baby is, in fact, coming.  It also gives me comfort to know that I can interact with this child, and now it's getting stronger every day.

Who would've thought something so tiny that's unnoticeable to most can have so much power over you?

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