Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Real mom advice

I just came across this post by Manical Mom and had to share it.  I love how she's so reassuring, yet real at the same time.  Here's hoping I can keep some of this advice in mind once Baby arrives!

An open letter to new moms…

Dear New Mom:

First things first, I don’t know everything…this is my fourth baby and well, really I can only share my experience with you. I am not telling you what to do or be, I just want you to know some things that people won’t tell you or maybe don’t know.

It’s called Labor for a reason! It’s supposed to be hard. It’s meant to massage the baby, get them ready to face that cold harsh world that we all live in. Inside your womb is warm, soft, quiet…and life, well, life is not. It really does serve a purpose and if you can take it one minute at a time, it isn’t that bad. There is a purpose to labor and even though it fucking hurts like hell, it’s only for a moment when you consider a lifetime of baby!

Don’t listen to women who have NEVER had a child…at all…they don’t know shit! Well, okay, maybe they know stuff, but the reality is….you are a PERFECT parent until you become a parent, then the universe bitch slaps you from high heaven and you realize that parenting is a tough gig and no one knows exactly what YOUR experience is going to be like.

Experts are great, but again, they are paid to talk smack and most times, they are only GUESSING based on their experience! If you wanna co-sleep…do it! If you wanna bottle feed…do it! NEVER EVER EVER let anyone make you feel bad about your parenting choices…unless of course what you are doing is illegal or immoral, then you better feel about as high as a fleas knee…cuz that shit ain’t okay. YOU, I am happy to say…are the EXPERT when it comes to your child! Do what your gut instinct is telling you to do! Pick your baby up, put your baby down, feed them, let them lay naked on a blanket, let them eat Cheerios for supper! Do what YOU think is best! Honestly, I was pulled in a trillion different directions as a brand new mom and sometimes, I wish I had just listened to my own instincts and done what I wanted to do at the time. Ferber DID NOT work for me! Nursing for 18 months did! Co sleeping worked for me! Baby wearing didn’t! See, it’s all about moderation and choices.

I have to let you know…you may lose friends once that baby shows up. To be honest…your single girlfriends will tire of looking at endless albums of your gorgeous baby…and that’s okay. Find a mom’s group…online or in real life. Get out of the house when you want to…and stay in your pajamas for a week…well, change your pajamas in the week…if you want to! The best thing I did as a new mom was to wear pajamas 24/7 because then the rellies didn’t stay for hours and hours when all I wanted to do was nap! Trust me on this one!

Learn how to nurse lying down on your side! OH MY GAWD! This was a gift from my guru parent friend! She taught me how to do it…and fucking hell, it saved my sanity…that old adage nap when the baby naps…well honey, you can’t help but nap if you are lying down to nurse your baby…and fuck em…the ones who say don’t nurse your baby to sleep…trust me…they won’t be 8 years old needing your nips in their mouth to fall asleep!

Buy an awesome book or series…prop that baby up on a pillow and nurse…shut of the idiot box…and READ a book! It’s good for you! Let your mind to the creating! Read out loud to the baby if you want! Maybe skip the bodice ripping scenes…but read the ones that describe the sky and the trees and the gorgeous clothing!

I am a personal fan of nursing! That’s my PERSONAL opinion. It was monumentally easy to go to the mall, to friends for dinner, even to movies with a newborn. Whip out the food source and feed the baby. No bottles to warm, no formula to mix. No crazy grocery bills because formula is ridiculously expensive. It’s your choice! Do what you think is best! I loved the nursing times with my little ones…and that is one thing I am SO looking forward to with baby pickle (that’s the nickname we are using).

DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!! It may surprise you…but you don’t have to do EVERYTHING your physician recommends. He/She doesn’t know everything…HONEST. TO. GAWD. You are the master of your destiny! You are the Momma Bear! I am pro research…I am not ANTI anything!
I love to chat with moms and share my experience…cry about things, laugh about things…and one thing is for sure…we moms need a heck of a lot more support that we need to be condemned for our choices! How about we start sticking together and helping rather than tearing each other apart?? HERE HERE!!!

Momma

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