Monday, January 23, 2012

Capturing those precious last moments

I just came across the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation, thanks to Kat.  This is an amazing group of photographers that take pictures of babies who have died, or who are about to die, so their parents have something to remember them by.

I'm scrolling through the gallery with tears pouring down my face.  My heart aches for all the families that have lost a child.  It's heartbreaking to see there's so many people out their who have gone through the agony of holding their child in their arms for the only or final time.

Mount Sinai took pictures of Olivia for us, and they're tucked away in a white lace folder with her ultrasound pictures and cards we received after she died.  I pull them out every so often, because I need to remember what she looks like.  B only looked at them once, and I know it broke his heart.  The only other people who have seen them are my parents, who I showed the day after her death.

I wish I had known about NILMDTS then, because the memories might be a little nicer than the blurry pictures of her tiny purple body, with the giant diaper and hat covering her facial defects.  That said, the image imprinted in my heart is that of her in my arms, with her perfect tiny hands and feet.


  1. I am so glad that you have imprinted on your heart a precious picture of your daughter. I was/am so grateful for the NILMDTS photographer and would strongly encourage anyone who is in the same sad situation that we were in to get the pictures. In the end, if you don't want them you can always get rid of them, but you only have one opportunity to get them. I am so glad we did. Oh, and yes, I am expecting again! Another girl! Karina. Her due date is 3 weeks after Luisa's original due date. We are so excited. The Ultrasounds have looked great so far, but I won't be completely settled until she is in my arms. Take care!

  2. And P.S. I HATE the Diaper Genie. It stinks so bad now after two babies. I am not keeping it for this next one!