Monday, February 21, 2011

A year ago - part 1

Exactly a year ago we went to the hospital for our 21 week ultrasound, after returning from a babymoon in Mexico.  We were so excited to see our baby, the little one that was growing in my belly and kicking up a storm.

I could barely sleep I was so excited, and so was B.  We went to the hospital and the technician took him to a private waiting room while I went into the exam room.  The technician was very nice, and explained that she didn't talk a lot during ultrasounds so she could focus on her work.  After about 45 minutes, she explained she needed to consult with the doctor on call to make sure she had everything she needed.  She was gone for about 20 minutes, which felt like an eternity.  I was dying to see the baby and for B to join me in the exam room.

After 20 minutes she returned, and turned off the machine.  She said "you need to go see your doctor tomorrow".  I asked "we don't get to see the baby?" and she repeated herself.  I asked "is something wrong" and she said "you need to go see your doctor".

Immediately, my heart sank and it took all the strength I had to climb off the exam table, sort out my clothes and walk down to find B in the waiting room.  As soon as he saw my face, he knew something was wrong.  I immediately lost it, and explained what happened.

We came home and I fell apart.  We couldn't see the doctor until the next day, but we knew it couldn't be good.  We called our families and explained that there was something wrong, we didn't know what.  Everyone was trying to be optimistic for us, but we knew this wasn't going to end well.

We went to the doctor the next morning and as soon as we saw his face, we knew it was terrible news.  He explained that Olivia had some anomalies in her face and head, and we needed to go to Mount Sinai to see a specialist.  He wouldn't speculate about the condition, and he assured us he would put through the referral right away.

All we could do was wait, and pray that he was wrong, or that it wasn't as bad as we feared.

It was the beginning of the worst two weeks of my life.


  1. Sending you big hugs. These days are so hard. I hate that the ultrasound tech didn't at least let you see her. It must have been agony waiting for the doctor's appointments. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

  2. I'm so sorry that you have to have that memory in your mind. I hope this day flew by and that it hurts less and less as time goes on.